A Quick Reference Guide to Preparing for a Divorce

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It’s hard to dismantle and disentangle a shared life. Fear and anxiety about divorce, the legal process and personal transition, frequently keep people in marriages that are abusive, plagued by infidelity, or fraught with friction. If you reach the (sometimes startling) conclusion that your marriage may end, here are five things to consider in preparing for divorce.

1. Compile Documents. Collect your last three years’ tax returns, and the past six months’ credit card statements, bank account statements, medical care invoices, and business expense records. Also collect any prenuptial or post-marital agreements, wills, disclaimer deeds, and trust documents. Whether or not you were involved in managing family finances during the marriage, understanding the debts and assets involved in the divorce is critical for the proceedings and for your attorney’s understanding of the issues, and will empower you to make informed decisions.

2. Know When To Act Quickly. Divorces can be contentious, and some marriages are characterized by verbal, emotional, or physical abuse. Obtain an Order of Protection if you are threatened or fear for your safety or that of loved ones. If your spouse is excessively spending or incurring debts detrimental to the marriage, filing for divorce sooner rather than later can help you preserve resources needed during and after the divorce.

3. Consult With An Attorney. Consult with at least one family law attorney before filing for divorce. There is no substitute for an experienced family law attorney with expertise in dealing with the issues in your case. Additionally, there are immediate consequences to filing for a divorce, such as the issuance of a preliminary injunction that will prohibit you from removing funds from bank accounts, traveling with children out of state, and selling items or property, among other restrictions. Knowing the process before you begin can help you plan.

4. Understand the Alternatives. There are alternatives to divorce that may better suit your situation, including legal separation and conciliation services. Consulting with a family lawyer can help you make the best decision for your circumstances.

5. Talk to Your Kids. Spouses who are parents must also address a tough question: how to tell the kids? Children may experience anxiety or blame themselves if parents fail to communicate. When appropriate, work with your spouse or third-party counselor in developing a plan to discuss the situation with your children.

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I’m Divorced, Now What?

Recently The National Law Review featured an article, I’m Divorced, Now What?, by Rebecca L. Palmer and Crystal Espinosa Buit of Lowndes, Drosdick, Doster, Kantor & Reed, P.A.:

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After you have finally made it through the divorce process and attend the final judgment hearing, the question often becomes, “Now what?”. Once a divorce is finalized, there are still many things that need to be considered. The following are some, but certainly not all, examples:

1. Transferring of Assets.  Often, parties come to an agreement regarding the division of assets and memorialize this in a written settlement agreement.  This document often contemplates who will be receiving certain bank accounts and other assets, and how these transfers are to occur.  In the “calm after the storm” it can be easy to forget that these actions need to occur – i.e. accounts divided and closed, personal property exchanged, and the like. This is important as deadlines by which these actions must be taken are often imposed in the written settlement agreements.  Furthermore, when vehicles are jointly titled, but only one party is receiving the vehicle as part of the equitable distribution of the assets, it is vital to transfer title in order to ensure the non-recipient former spouse no longer remains liable as a co-owner of the vehicle.  As the list of actions concerning distribution of assets can be lengthy, it is advisable to make a detailed “To-Do List” of all items that must be completed by you and/or your former spouse.

2. Taxes. Frequently, the settlement agreements entered into by parties will contemplate issues, including, but not limited to, child support, alimony, and liquidation of certain investments, that impact one or both parties’ taxes.  If a tax attorney and/or financial advisor was not consulted prior to the execution of a settlement agreement, it may be beneficial to meet with such experts to more accurately determine the tax effects set forth therein.

3. Estate Planning. It goes without saying that, after your divorce, you should meet with an estate planning attorney as soon as possible to address any estate planning issues that may have risen as a result of the dissolution of your marriage.

While the foregoing list is not exhaustive, as each divorce proceeding has its own set of unique circumstances, it is a helpful starting place.  Be sure to consider, however, the implications and actions required by any settlement agreement entered into by you in a divorce proceeding.

© Lowndes, Drosdick, Doster, Kantor & Reed, PA

The Health Effects of Divorce can be both Detrimental and Beneficial

Recently an article by Rebecca L. Palmer and Crystal Espinosa Buit of Lowndes, Drosdick, Doster, Kantor & Reed, P.A. regarding The Health Effects of Divorce was published in The National Law Review:

Divorces affect every aspect of an individual’s life – their financial situation, their children, their home, their friendships, everything. Divorces are notoriously stressful events and, while a stressful marriage can absolutely consume a person to their detriment, many people would also agree that their lives are negatively impacted in some way by the process. What most people may not recognize, however, is how significant a role divorce plays in their overall mental and physical health. While short term effects are generally associated with divorce, recent studies have focused on the long-term impacts to health. The findings are troubling. In a 2009 study conducted by sociologists Linda Waite and Mary Elizabeth Hughes of the University of Chicago, research showed that divorced or widowed individuals are 20 percent more likely than married people to have chronic health conditions, such as heart disease, diabetes, or cancer. In addition, they also showed 23 percent more mobility limitations, such as trouble climbing stairs or walking. The study, which examined the marital history and health indicators for 8,652 people between the ages of 51 and 61, focused on four categories: chronic health conditions, mobility, depressive symptoms and self-assessment. The results of the study support the contention that those who experience a divorce or the death of a spouse have long-term negative consequences related to their health.

University of Texas at Austin researcher Mark Hayward tells WebMD “that long-term stress before, during, and after a divorce may accelerate the biologic processes that lead to cardiovascular disease and possibly other chronic diseases.” In his study on the impact of divorce on heart disease, he showed that divorced, middle-aged women were more likely to develop heart disease than other non-divorced, married women. Although Hayward’s study focused on women, the health consequences of divorce are not specific to gender. In a 2010 article on marriage and men’s health, the Harvard Medical School cited a MFRIT study of 10,904 American married men which revealed that men who divorced were 37 percent more likely to die during the nine-year study than men who remained married. This may be due to the biological effects stress is having on men and women alike. The Harvard Medical School notes that stress triggers inflammation, which is a newly recognized cardiac risk factor. Thus, it may come as no surprise that divorced men have higher levels of inflammatory markers than married men.

Divorce also alters lifestyle habits and behaviors that may adversely affect health. Researchers from Ohio State University found that, two years after a divorce, separated partners tended to be heavier as compared to couples who remained married, although men showed larger weight gains than women. Harvard Medical School similarly points out that divorced men don’t eat as well as married men. Furthermore, divorced men are less likely to exercise and are more likely to smoke, drink excessively, and engage in other risky behaviors. It is clear that divorce may cause some people to engage in destructive conduct that inevitably affects their physical and mental well being.

There is no doubt that electing to end your marriage is a decision that should be weighed heavily. The unsettling studies on the health effects of divorce can only lead one to question why divorce has such a powerful impact on a person’s health. When discussing her research on the subject, sociologist Linda Waite noted that “previous research suggests that marriage has protective health benefits by providing financial, social, and emotional stability.” Specifically, women often have more financial security, thus allowing them access to health care and reduced stress, while married men have better health habits in comparison to single males. It also goes without saying that the stress of determining the division of marital assets and child custody directly contributes to this impact.

On the other hand, while a healthy marriage has been shown to provide protective health benefits, several studies also “show that the marriage advantage doesn’t extend to those in troubled relationships, which can leave a person far less healthy than if he or she had never married at all.” One study, for instance, showed that a stressful marriage can be as bad for the heart as a regular smoking habit. Further, just as divorce has been found to negatively impact women’s health specifically, researchers have also found that “bad relationships [are] bad for health” as women in troubled relationships (who likely face anger, stress and hostility) are more likely than other women to be depressed, have metabolic syndrome, low levels of HDL (good) cholesterol, abdominal obesity, and elevated blood sugar – “all basically steps on the road to heart attack or diabetes.”

Accordingly, it is important to remember that, while divorce has been shown to have negative impacts on health, this is not true for everyone as an unhealthy relationship can also lead to certain health problems, including physical ailments and mental depression. As researcher Mark Hayward noted, “For people in highly stressful marriages, divorce may be beneficial for their health.”

Ultimately, those seeking to prevent their current circumstances, whether a troubled marriage or divorce, from impacting their physical and mental health should seek measures to reduce stress and remember that a divorce should serve as a gateway to a healthier and happier life. When going through a divorce it is vital to remember the basics – eat well, exercise and, quite simply, remember to do the things that make you happy. Further, surrounding oneself with a supportive environment and attending counseling, if needed, will lessen health risks by helping one to cope with the stress.

© Lowndes, Drosdick, Doster, Kantor & Reed, PA